Lets get personal.
Soooooo I have anxiety. To other people I always seem to come off so confident and so care free. But really I'm just trying at act that way so, I don't know? Maybe for people to like me? Maybe to try and feel accepted. But I'm going to situations that I have an anxiety attack in and what causes them for me.
So First Situations. This was when I was in primary so its not as bad. Some of these stories may sound silly but seriously Freaked OUT at the time! So anyway, my grandma was meant to be picking me up from school but she was 15 min late. I didn't do late. Whenever someone was even 5 minutes late I would make up scenarios in my head for example, They forgot me and they aren't coming back so that means Ill turn into a orphan or move in with someone else, Someone is probably going to kidnap me while I am waiting, Maybe they aren't even my family and this is there whole plan all along to just one day leave me here waiting for them to never come. Okay they all are SUPER ridiculous especially the last one. But its true these are all things that I have ever thought if someone was ever late. SO back to my story. My grandma was 15 min late and the whole school had already cleared out so I just sat in the corner and then a panic attack just came over me. If you have had a panic attack you will know how it feels, I won't go into detail but you just feel very trapped and like your not in control. (thats how I feel anyway) . So once that was over with my samsung button phone I called my dad to come pick me up. Simple solution. Like I said it sounds stupid. But thats just how my brain worked and it didn't help that I was a very imaginative 10 year old. Anyway that was a very long paragraph just for a stupid attack. But even the most stupidest feel like the most scariest.
So. Second situation/story. By the way that scenario basically happened in intermediate as well. But instead my phone was flat. So I was doing my speech in front of the class and normally I am great with public speaking and performing but I really don't know what happened. It was like my body and brain just didn't want to be up there talking. I started my speech all fine and then something happened where I got interrupted and had to carry on from the middle of my speech I don't really remember much just that I couldn't move. I just stopped speaking. I couldn't even look down at my Q cards. I could feel my eyes started filling up and the faint sound of my worried friends and my teacher telling me to look at my Q cards then asking me if I wanted to do it after break time I could only nod. It wasn't really big but I just thought I would share it.
So basically, I can't have people being late on me. I can't have people interrupting in the middle of a speech (okay thats the stupidest). Also I hate taking off in planes and landing and turbulence. One time I literally thought I was going to die because the plane was shaking so much. I threw up from panicking so much. I also freak out sometimes when I'm in things like running a school cross country for PE or sprints. Its like I'm trapped running. I know I can't stop because I have to do it for PE but at the same all I want to do is flop on the floor. I also threw but because I pushed myself and it was like I had a mini panic attack inside my brain but my body just kept on running so my body and brain just weren't cooperating with each other so it was just to much and blah. So I guess we know now that I throw up lot when I panic.
Do you guys get anxiety? Do you have any stories you would like to share? (If you want email or tweet me my twitter and email is in the contact page) What causes you to have any panic attack?
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